Regarding the Whole Twinkie Hysteria

Everyone just calm the f**k down.  It's going to be okay.

Peace and ho-hos,

Mel

Confessions of an Awful Baker

I love to cook and when it comes to searing, roasting, broiling, mixing, spicing, dicing and eating, I've come a long way.  I'd say I'm even good at this point.  But baking, what an elusive temptress she is.  I'm awful at it.  Even recipes I've successfully created before are always at risk of going horribly awry.

Take the pumpkin bourbon cheesecake I made on Thanksgiving.  I've made it for other occasions and it was great.  Thankgiving? Well, it tasted okay, but it looked disgusting.  I think I may have purchased light cream cheese by mistake, but I'm not sure.  Whatever I did, the pumpkin and cream cheese were a worse mix than the Jets & Sharks during that dance scene in West Side Story - they refused to mingle and as a result, my cheesecake looked like week-old oatmeal.  Not exactly an appetizing dessert.  Luckily, two of my beautiful attendees also provided post-dinner sweets.  Baking is a bitch.  So high & mighty with her exact instructions.  Whatevs.  I don't get it, and I don't like that I don't get it.  I'm over you...

That's not true, I totally want to be awesome at everything related to a stove and/or oven. Next year, I want to bake Christmas cookies that make Santa bring me a gd Mercedes.

I write this blog for a couple of reasons: sympathy (let's be real, everyone loves sympathy), but mostly as warning.  You see, dear friends, I'm going to master the art of baking.  I will own that bitch called baking if it kills me.  As a result, I'll probably be posting about burning stuff, ruining cakes, drinking wine, and crying a bit more than usual.  If you have any tips, suggestions, or word of encouragement (see sympathy above), please send them my way.

Love and dough,
Mel

Hey Cupid....Stuff It!

Hi gang,

It's almost Valentine's Day and while some of us will be consuming our body weight in chocolate candy, others will be preparing delicious meals for loved ones.

Is anyone still looking for ideas?  Maybe wishing there was some source out there to provide inspiration?

You're in luck!  My insanely talented friends at Herbivore Productions have a video to help you!  Herbivore Productions makes awesome movies, and now, awesome cooking shows.

Watch, laugh, learn, and tell your friends.  I told my friends.  Hello, friends.

If you like the video, show them some love where it counts....on Facebook.  Like 'em here: Feed The Beast

Enjoy!

A Not-So-Average Tuesday Evening

Greeting Mom & Jaime (nobody else reads this, let's be honest),

Tonight I begin my official Thanksgiving prep.  Including:

1. Cubing french bread for the sausage, apple & leek stuffing I am making.

2. Chopping leeks, celery, carrots & onions, which combined make a glorious smelling bowl of veggies.  Also, they will be used in the stuffing and some will be cooked with the turkey.  The word you're looking for is "Savory" or maybe "Delicious" or now maybe "Shut up Melissa".

3. Crushing graham crackers for therapy and cheesecake crust, because I'm making this: Bourbon Pumpkin Cheesecake.  Except I'm leaving the pecans out of the mix, just in case there are any anti-nuts in the crowd.  I made the same dessert last year and it was awesome.

I have 13 people confirmed for my place on Thursday, a couple of maybes and at least one person who will just show up because they saw it on Facebook.  Game on folks. Game. On.

Peace & Poultry,
Mel